Twins...Oh my gosh. Twins. This is what has been going through my mind since the ultrasound tech looked at the screen and said “and there’s two”. Twins. Wow. I never saw myself having twins. I was always the person that said, “twins are adorable, but not for me.” So here we are, pregnant with twins.
I knew this pregnancy felt different than my last but they always say no two pregnancies are alike. Although, I had a feeling it would be twins. I don’t know how I knew but every once in awhile the thought would creep into my mind, where I would immediately dismiss it. Twins happen to people on fertility treatments and celebrities, not normal twenty somethings.
Am I excited? Honestly? No, not yet. I’m sure I will get there, but right now I’m scared. I go back to the doctor in two weeks, hopefully that will help calm some of my fears. But for now I am shocked and scared.
Scared of what? Scared about upsetting my beautiful two year old Daughter. How will she adapt to not one but two new babies? Will we have enough time and energy for our energetic toddler and demanding newborn twins? Will I have enough love for three children? Scared of the unknown. How long will I carry these twins? Will have have to have a c-section? Will they be healthy? Just scared.
I know we have the support and help of our family, which takes away some of the fear. Once the some of the shock subsides I’m sure we will be beyond thrilled. But for now, I feel guilty for not feeling the level of excitement I feel like I’m supposed to feel.
Today I’m still processing the news. I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes.
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